Who Am I?
by cartersdaughter
Summary: What if the one night stand on Titanic turned into a baby? Jack and Rose's daughter is now fourteen. She begins to ask questions. The revised edition of Titanic the Story Between the Stories. Sorry for all you people that liked the old one.
1. Afterward

Chapter 1- Afterward

Disclaimer: One of my favorite movies but I own no characters except Alex and Fabrizio JR

AN: Hope you like this version better

Rose stepped off the Carpathia, glad to be on dry land, and looked up. She was standing in the shadow of the Statue of Liberty.

" Can I take your name, love?" Rose turned, standing behind her was one of the crew of the Carpathia.

He must be taking names of the survivors of Titanic so they can compile a list of the dead, Rose thought. Well, I 'm not going to let my mother know I'm alive. That's the last thing I need, her on my back all over again. Jack was right, I'll suffocate if I go back to that life. I just lost the man I love. If my mother's alive the only thing I need is for her to tell me I never really loved him. I know just the way I can honor him too.

" Your name, love."

Here goes. " Dawson, Rose Dawson," she answered confidently.

" Thank you," responded the sailor walking over to the next person, probably to do the same thing.

Rose again began to gaze at the statue. If only Jack could see this. This wasn't how it was supposed to end. It was supposed to him and me getting off here, not just me, not alone.

She felt she'd somehow betrayed Jack, her living and him dying like that, in that freezing cold water. If she'd only taken the lifeboat, then Jack could have been on the door, and he would have lived. He would have been on the boat that went back. She would have been in another one, and they would have met on the Carpathia. They would have found each other again and been able to do all the things they had planned. They could have left her mother in all her haughty glory of surviving and created a family and a new life in this country. A fresh start, just the two of them.

It was all her fault she had ruined Jack's life. If he had never met her, he might still be alive. If he had never won those tickets he wouldn't have even been on Titanic. If he didn't know how to play poker he wouldn't have even bet money on the game to win the tickets. If she hadn't been trying to commit suicide he wouldn't have saved her. Cal wouldn't have invited him to dinner, they would have never known each other. But no matter what way you looked at it is was still all her fault.

" Oh, stop blaming yourself, Rose," the woman scolded herself.

" Did you say something, ma'am?"

Rose jumped startled by the sudden voice in her ear. She flicked her eyes from the statue and turned to face the voice. " No…I …I…uh, uh… was just admiring the statue."

" Sounded like you were talking to someone," the man answered amused.

" Is anyone here? How could I possibly be talking to anyone? I already told you I was admiring the statue!" Rose snapped. Then feeling remorse and regret for snapping at someone she had only just met Rose apologized," I'm sorry. You just startled me is all. I don't think I ever caught your name."

" You didn't give me a chance to give it. Anyway, the name's Calvert, Robert Calvert."

" Rose Dawson," Rose smiled sadly to herself. It came so easily to her, now if it could have only been legal.

" Are you okay?" Robert asked not sure if something was wrong or not.

"Yes, fine. Just thinking. I hate it when memories catch up with you," Rose muttered.

" Me too," Calvert stated attempting to understand Rose. Though sensing he never fully could. " Would you like to go out for something to eat?"

" No, I think I'm just going to find someplace to spend the night. I just want to go to sleep and forget about this entire night," Rose said as the memories once again stabbed her memory, and she began to think about all the publicity Titanic would receive in the paper tomorrow and in the coming weeks. Survivors would be asked to speak for the newspapers and people would be running everywhere around the city looking for lists of loved ones or the loved ones themselves.

" I know a shelter just a few streets from here if you want to go there. It's just a few steps from my house, so at least you'll know someone in the area."

"Thank you, but no thank you," Rose answered still not quite ready to give up her elegant way of life.

" You sure talk pretty brought up for a steerage passenger," Calvert noted.

" My mother was brought up in first class, " Rose lied using the story her child would have had to use as an excuse if she had married Jack.

" I see so you're a half-breed," Calvert laughed. " Would you like to sleep at my house then?"

" No!" Rose was offended at the freshness of this total stranger. " I can manage on my own, thank you." She gave a smile to the gentleman before walking away showing there were no hard feelings. She just wanted to handle things her way.


	2. Rose's Decision

Chapter 2- Rose's Decision 

Rose walked down the street looking for the shelter the man at the statue had mentioned. He didn't have to know she was taking his advice. Rose was an independent young woman who didn't like accepting help from anyone even when she needed it. She wanted to handle things her own way. She wanted to prove she wasn't weak. Again her thoughts drifted to Jack. He hadn't just thought of her as some spoiled little rich girl. He had actually understood her, tried to treat her like a real person. Now he was gone.

" Excuse me, Miss? Do you need some help?" a young woman was standing next to Rose.

" Yes," Rose replied. It was beginning to rain harder and she needed to find the shelter. " Could you help me find a shelter? A man just said there was one a few streets down from here."

" He was right. Come follow me. I'll take ye there." The woman spoke with what rose recognized as an Irish accent. Rose followed the young woman who couldn't have been more than 17 herself through the winding streets of New York. Soon they reached the shelter. A short wide building with people crowded around the front waiting to get in from the rain. Rose thought she recognized a few from the 3rd class party Jack had taken her to, but there were so many she couldn't be sure. Rose and the young woman joined the crowd and waited. Meanwhile the lady began a conversation. " Me name's Colleen. Colleen Galvin. I came over from Ireland a few months ago with me husband. We'll be havin' some wee ones soon enough. I got a job through the shelter. I work uptown for a wealthy family doing laundry and such. They need some more help if you need a job I can get you one."

Rose smiled. The woman didn't even know her, but was being so friendly. " My name's Rose, Colleen. Yes, I need a job. If you could get me one I'd be most grateful."

" Aye, I can do that for you. Just need your name is all."

" Rose Dawson."

" All right. I'll see what I can do. You know something Rose, why don't you just come stay the night with me and me husband, and I'll take ye to see about the job in the mornin'."

" That's sounds like a fine idea Colleen. I think I'll do that instead of hanging around here." Rose was surprised at how easily her tongue changed from sounding as if she were royalty into sounding like a normal person.

Again Rose followed Colleen around corners and through alleyways, which she assumed were short cuts, though they didn't feel that way. Finally, after rounding several more corners and cutting through one more alley Colleen came to an abrupt stop.

" This is it. We're here. Welcome to me humble home." Rose looked up and saw a huge brick apartment building in front of her. " See that window thar" Colleen said pointing. " The third one in on the fifth floor?" Rose nodded. " That's where me and me husband live."

Rose followed Colleen up the many flights of stairs. Up and up they went passing tenement after tenement. Finally, just when Rose thought the stairs would never end Colleen came to an abrupt stop. " This is the one," she said opening the door. Rose looked inside. It was what she had expected. A bed, a sofa, a table, and a few wooden chairs were all that there was for furniture, but the apartment was different somehow, from the places where she had lived. Though there wasn't much here and it was slightly grimy this place looked lived in. It looked loved.

" Come on Rose. What are you waitin' for? Me husband don't bite." Rose had just noticed that Colleen was wrapped up in the arms of a tall, husky man with brown hair and shining green eyes like Colleen's. It made her think of Jack. She was disgusted; she couldn't believe she had let him go. " Rose this is me husband, Michael. Michael, this is Rose."

" Nice to meet ye, Miss Rose. Where 'bouts are you from? I know Colleen is always helping out girls from that Red Cross Shelter. I assume that's wherein she found you. She likes to bring people home."

"Yes," Rose answered feeling like a stowaway being questioned by the police.

" So Miss Rose, do you have a last name?"

" Michael!" Rose stifled a giggle as Colleen gave Michael a dirty look telling him to butt out of Rose's life. Seeing the longing look Colleen gave Michael made Rose feel like a Peeping Tom privy to something she should never have seen.

" I'm intruding; I should leave." Rose made her way toward the door.

Colleen was instantly in front of her. " And where would you go? Sleep on the streets? Michael ain't half as rude as he seems. No, you're staying her tonight." At Colleen's insistence Rose allowed herself to be steered back into the house.

Seeing Rose's eyes beginning to droop Michael said, " I think Colleen and I'll head off to bed. We'll see about getting you a job and a place to stay in the mornin'. Tonight you can sleep on the sofa."

Rose decided even though she didn't know these people very well it would be easier to sleep here than on the streets. Here she only had to keep track of two people to see if they would try to steal anything, on the streets, she would have to keep track of God knows how many. It wasn't like she had anything to steal…other than the necklace. Why on earth did she still have that necklace? What good would it do her now? Michael and Colleen didn't know she had it, so for tonight she would be safe.

" Good night and thank you," Rose answered falling asleep before her head hit the arm of the sofa. She was so tired she didn't even feel the hard spring sticking out into her back. It had been a long night. The longest of her life.


	3. Where Will I Go?

Chapter 3- Where will I go?

The next morning Rose was awakened by the smell of bacon sizzling on the stove. She didn't realize how long it had been since she'd last eaten. The dinner with her mother and Cal. That was it. She involuntarily shivered. Had that really only been two days ago? Had she only been with Jack in the freezing water of the Atlantic a few hours before? She shuddered at the memory, making her way to the table where Michael sat eating bacon and eggs.

"Mornin', Miss Rose," Michael said with a smile as she sat down. "I was worried you'd be sleepin' all day. Got lots to get done. Colleen told me to let you sleep though; you looked plum washed out when you got here."

"Mornin' Rose," Colleen said turning from the stove.

Rose smiled and turned to Michael. "I'm sorry I wasn't very social last night. It was a long day. And you don't have to call me Miss Rose. Just Rose will do. Miss Rose makes me feel like a school teacher."

"All right," he replied with a smile. "Rose, it is then. Well, then Rose, where are you from?"

Rose wanting to make friends answered, "England, a small town outside of London."

"Do you have any family?" Colleen smiled at her husband's questions. He always wanted to know everything about everyone right away.

Rose took her time on this answer finally saying, "No, my father died a few years ago, and my mother and my husband died last night." She was surprised at how easily the lie rolled off her tongue. Though there was some truth to it. She was never going back to her old life so essentially her mother was dead to her, and she would have married Jack if he hadn't died.

"Oh," a tiny gasp escaped Colleen's lips.

"You see," Rose continued while she still could; before she was overcome by sobs. "I was a passenger on the Titanic." She figured news of the disaster was probably already starting to spread. Not able to say anymore through her tears, Rose was finished with her story for the day.

Colleen abandoned the bacon and wrapped her arms around her newfound friend. "There, there. It'll be all right. Just you wait and see." Rose ran the sleeve of the jacket across her eyes wiping away the tears.

"I'm sorry Colleen. I didn't mean to break down like that."

"That's all right, darlin'. You had every right to. You've just been through a horrific experience. Do you want some breakfast?"

Rose nodded. "That would be wonderful. Then could we see about that job, if it's not too much trouble."

"Don't be silly, Rose," Colleen laughed. "It's not too much trouble. I'll just take ya to work with me when you're ready. Mind you I leave in little less than an hour. We might want to leave a bit sooner than that to go down to the shelter and find you somethin' a bit more suitable to wear seein' as that's the only dress you've got."

"We can leave right now if you like." Rose said not wanting to make Colleen late for her job.

"Nonsense. You just finish your breakfast, while I go through my clothes and see if I can't find you somethin' else to wear other than that soggy dress and overgrown coat. Then we'll go down to the shelter and get you some more."

"You have no idea how much I appreciate your kindness," Rose said taking another sip of your coffee. She smiled thinking about her sudden change in status. What would her mother say if she knew Rose was getting clothes from a shelter as well as borrowing them from a woman she met on the street only hours ago. Though the more Rose thought about it the more she warmed up to and enjoyed the idea. Colleen and Michael were so much friendlier, charming, and welcoming than any of the people she'd met at her mother's parties.

"'Tis nothin'" said Colleen. "Someone did something very similar for us when we first came to America, and when you're all settled just remember to pass along the favor."

After finishing her breakfast Rose quickly changed into the light green dress Colleen had pulled from her closet. It was pure luck that Rose and Colleen were the same size. "That dress looks swell on ya Rose," Colleen smiled as she and Rose once again headed out on the streets of Manhattan. Rose's eyes couldn't stop scanning the intensity of New York. It was similar to London with all of buildings and people everywhere, but the skyscrapers were an entirely new concept to Rose. The idea that a building could reach almost to the clouds was amazing. "Watch yourself Rose," Colleen pulling back Rose who was starting to wander dangerously close to the street and in danger of being taken down by the cars racing down the cobbled streets.

"Oh," Rose jumped back startled to hide behind Colleen out of the way of the speeding vehicle. How she wished Jack was here to experience this wonderful and terrifying new world with her. He would be able to show her the fun of it all while calming her fears at the same time.

"Rose, the shelter is just there, we could stop now and get you some clothes, or we could stop on the way back so you'll have more time to find something that suits you."

Rose glanced down at Colleen's green dress. "I could pretty much wear anything right now, and this dress is wonderful. Why don't we stop back later when we have some more time so that you can help me pick out some dresses?" Rose had to admit she was used to someone picking out her clothes and shopping at expensive stores. She needed someone with knowledge of the real world help her to pick out some sensible things to wear to start her new life as well as show her how to do some things on her own without necessarily realizing they were doing and not leave her to flounder in this new reality. "That way you won't be late for work."

"All Right, come on then the house is this way." Rose's head was spinning by the time they reached the house of Colleen's employer. She hoped that one day she would be able to navigate this maze of streets on her own. "This is it," Colleen said pointing to a large two story mansion that looked like something out of a fairy tale. There was a wrought iron fence surrounding the house. Large oak doors with brass handles signaled the entrance to the house. "Our entrance is this way." Rose took one last look at the front of the beautiful house and heaved a sigh as if to say goodbye to her old life before following Colleen around the back. Rounding the back of the house Rose spotted the servant's entrance which was only slightly less ordinate than the front entrance. Rose wasn't surprised when Colleen was instantly surrounded by the twittering ladies of the kitchen staff. After allowing Colleen's friends to inform of the goings on of the house and getting the news of the town from Colleen Rose quietly cleared her throat to restate her presence. "Girls this is Rose. Rose these are the girls, Mary, Anna, Elizabeth, Susan. Oh, and this is Vivienne," Colleen finished gesturing toward the door and the girl that came from the main part of the house. "Vivienne, is Miss Penbrook around in the house?"

"Yes she's in the library. Why do you ask?"

"I have an applicant for the other laundry position I would like her to meet." After saying goodbye to the girls in the kitchen Rose followed Colleen up a grand gold leaf covered staircase and to the library. "Just let me do all the talking, just giver her basic information. After knocking gently on the door and hearing an even softer come in Colleen opened the door. "Miss Penbrook, its Colleen, one of your laundry girls. I heard from the other girls that you were looking for another girl to do the laundry. This is Rose Dawson ma'am. She's looking for a job. She's staying with me so I can make sure she gets to work on time and teach her all the skills she'll need to know to do this job."

"Well, Colleen why don't you let this girl speak for herself. Are you a fast learner and will you make sure to let me know at least two weeks in advance if you need days off?"

"Yes ma'am I pick up on things very quickly." Rose's mind flashed to the party in third class. "I won't be needing time off anytime soon, but if I do I will tell you as soon as I know and I will make sure that it is at least two weeks in advance."

"All right then, how soon can you start?"

"As soon as possible ma'am," Rose replied with a small smile.

"All right then you're hired. Have Colleen show you where to put your things and then Colleen, start showing her the duties she needs so she can start working on her own as soon as possible."

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you. ma'am." Colleen exited the library and took Rose to the large laundry room that adjoining the kitchen. "This is where the laundry is done. It comes through that chute there from the upper rooms." Rose recognized the chutes from her house in England. "We collect the laundry from the first floor. It all goes in this washing machine. You turn it on here and put the clothes in here. The machine runs for 20 minutes then you take the clothes out. If it is a nice day outside you hang the clothes on the line right outside the kitchen door. You saw it when we walked in. If it's a nasty day then you hang the clothes in here. This is a dryer. Most of the clothes that we wash also need to be ironed. There is a specific way Mrs. Penbrook likes her clothes pressed. I'll show you the rest of it tomorrow. For today let's just start with the washing, and it's a nice day outside so you can hang the clothes outside."

"All right. That sounds easy enough."

"I'll work with you for a few days just to make sure that you're doing the job the way Mrs. Penbrook expects it done, then you'll be able to work on your own. Shall we get started?"

Rose nodded and followed Colleen to begin picking up the laundry on the first floor as well as sort the laundry that had come from the upper floors. The day moved swiftly with Rose getting to know the other girls that worked in the house, as well as learning her new duties. By the end of the day Rose was exhausted but slightly happier. She had worked for the first time in her life. She had a job, new friends, and a whole new life. If only Jack were here to share it with her. At that moment Rose realized that she would always wish this and that in a way Jack was sharing it with her. As she walked home with Colleen Rose thought of Jack and that he must be watching over her for her to be blessed with such a wonderful new friend and a job that was easy to learn. He would always be the one who saved her life in more ways than one. Her Angel.


	4. Author's Note: Help

This story is on hiatus until I finish or get farther in some of my other stories. Also I hit a wall of writer's block on this specific story. This is not a little wall either. It is a tall, massive brick wall. Maybe when the movie comes out in 3-D it will re-inspire me. Otherwise, I am completely open to any ideas of where the story should go from this point. Either drop a review or send me a private message. Always open to new ideas and constructive criticism.


End file.
